im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
