Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
