I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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