there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
