Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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