I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
