That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
