i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
