oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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