I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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