Do you still have your period?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
