you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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