dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
