Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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