It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
