NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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