About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
