THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So much rum. So many feels.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
