When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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