I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
