Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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