I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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