I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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