he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
