She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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