you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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