so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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