Kareoke will never be a sober sport
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
