If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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