You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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