The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
