She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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