i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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