physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I understand Curling. That high.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
