I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I will pee on everything he values.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
