We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
His hands were made for my vagina.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Let's get the cat blown out
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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