the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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