If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think people are normalizing furries
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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