the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
