what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize