my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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