I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
