Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
