My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
