Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
