She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
