I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
