Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
