party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
