Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
